A Day in the Life of the Toad Sage and His Tadpole
by styrofoampeanuts
Summary: Two and a half years of largely unexplored travels between Naruto and Jiraiya. A brief look into the moments shared between the two. One-shot. Dedicated to l-ichiraku-l who is just like family to me.


**Author's Note: This is just a short, fluffy piece on what I envision to be a day in the life of Jiraiya and Naruto during their two and a half year travels. Enjoy, and any constructive feedback is most welcome! Drop a review to tell me what you think, good or otherwise!  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of these wonderful characters. They belong to the genius mind of Masashi Kishimoto, of which mine could never hope to rival. I merely play with them and explore what Kishimoto has decided not to in the manga.**

* * *

Jiraiya tapped the end of his pencil against his chin, eyes narrowed as he looked over the page he'd just written. He gave himself another four days tops before his publishers began breathing down his neck again. Seriously, for touting themselves as the most renowned and experienced publishers in Fire Country, they sure had zero understanding of the way writers' creative genius worked. Especially when it came to a master of the literary arts, which was what he thought of himself. Vehemently. No matter what his loud-mouthed little runt of an apprentice said.

One of these days, he told himself, Naruto would come to appreciate the sheer greatness that was his work. He snorted and rolled his eyes at that thought. Yeah right, the only time that would happen was if it got converted into picture form, which his publishers were also keen to do. He had made it clear, however, that whatever happened, he'd get to pick the artist he felt had the ability to best portray his work. After all, he wasn't going to have over a decade of hard work on the _Icha Icha _series marred by laughable caricatures of his leading ladies.

He could already picture it – disproportionately heaving bosoms, tiny non-existent waistlines. He couldn't have suppressed the shudder down his spine even if he'd tried. Proportion was everything when it came to the female form. A pity that so few understood that.

As he'd once told Naruto, he liked his girls ripe and juicy, with curves, and big but not _too _big. Following that, his idiot of an apprentice had surprised him by nodding in sagelike understanding and running off, before holding out… a watermelon upon his return. Jiraiya had proceeded to punch him on the head. Hard. He chuckled fondly as he remembered the watery blue eyes that had scowled at him with what was probably the best, most injured looking puppy dog face he'd ever been confronted with. The kid really was a knucklehead.

Speaking of which, the said apprentice was laid out on a corner of the floor on his tatami mat, completely and uncharacteristically silent. Jiraiya hadn't noticed when his indignant squawks about spending yet another night in 'this ol' place' had subsided into generic grumbling and then had ceased altogether. Normally, he'd be glad for a little peace. While Naruto had been entirely pleasant company, his constant jabbering while Jiraiya was attempting to finish his third volume of the _Icha Icha_ series was nothing short of invasive and at times, annoying.

Still though, Jiraiya knew his blond haired student well. The only times he kept quiet like this were when he'd had too much good food (which he'd found out the hard way after treating him to ramen at one of the outpost towns and having to sleep with a window open all night as the boy kept belching), when he was missing the Uchiha kid, or when he was thinking of home.

He couldn't blame the boy; it'd been almost two years since they'd left. Two years… Had it really been that long? He could still remember the day he'd left Konoha with the hyperactive monkey who barely came up to his shoulder and now… Naruto was just a little over half a head shorter than him, and was developing quite some amount of muscle. He looked more and more like his father everyday, especially right then, with his thoughtful expression.

Jiraiya wasn't a fool; he knew he wouldn't be able to freeze time like this, towing Naruto around for his protection as much as for his training. Time was running out. He couldn't help it though. Naruto's return to Konoha meant he'd be diving right back into missions and the rigors of shinobi life, and… chasing after Uchiha Sasuke. It wasn't that he had no faith in his student; Naruto's growth had been exponential in the past twenty months. But he would be an idiot to think for a minute that Orochimaru hadn't been pushing Sasuke to his limits as well. In fact, he would admit that he probably could have afforded to be stricter with Naruto's training.

Yes, time was running out. But to Jiraiya, there had always been more important things than training or getting stronger.

And one of these things was being a sixteen-year-old kid.

That was one of the things he most regretted about the life of a shinobi. So many grew up too fast. He didn't want to see that gleam in Naruto's eye turn hard and cold, or hear his warm, infectious laughter fade into silence.

He wanted him to enjoy his childhood, the way his parents would have wanted him to as well. But time wasn't on their side. It was already the ninth day of October and- wait. The ninth? Already? Then it was Naruto's birthday tomorrow.

That would explain why his expression was just a tad bit extra wistful tonight. The boy had already missed one birthday he could have spent with his friends back at Konoha. It wasn't fair that he should miss any more just because Jiraiya and him had serious business to handle. Hmm…

Jiraiya's brow furrowed once more as he turned back to his _still _incomplete manuscript, and checked the time. The ticking clock reflected 1:08AM in glowing green. Jeeze, his publishers were going to be all over him for this.

He was already late by a whole two years, but that was hardly _his _fault. He had bigger things on his plate than meeting a publishing deadline. He was one of the legendary Sannin, for crying out loud! Try telling that to a publishing agency angrily citing the terms of their agreement every chance they got. It got to a point where Jiraiya stopped wondering why those guys even _had _ears to begin with (since they sure as hell weren't using them to listen to his explanations) and simply given up, resorting to relocating every week or so with his apprentice to prevent them from tracking him down.

Now though, he ought to start winding things up for the kid's benefit. If he were going to be headed back to Konoha, he ought to pre-empt his publishers by finishing up his _Icha Icha _business. Damn, so much for the idea he'd had of looking up a couple of this hotel's ah, _impressive_ wait staff that night. He had _really_ liked the smile that blonde, porcelain skinned beauty at the reception counter had given him, and the feisty little redhead he'd seen in the guest lounge waiting on tables had definitely piqued his interest.

Pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand and flexing his pen hand to ease the cramp that was forming, he headed to the pantry to get a pot of coffee going. If he was going to stay up, he was going to need coffee. As much as he hated to admit it, age really _was _catching up with him in some aspects. He crept as quietly as he could, to keep from waking the now snoring blond. That probably wasn't necessary though, considering he could hear his obnoxious snoring from the stairwell.

* * *

Naruto stared down at the prone form of his shishou, fingers pressed to his nose, mouth scrunched up in distaste. The pervy sage had fallen asleep midway through editing his manuscript, _again_. _So much for teaching me that new jutsu today, _Naruto groused.

'You could seriously use some lessons on how to be a better teacher, y'know that? 'cause I'm pretty sure you missed out on quite a few of 'em.' Naruto continued glaring at his still snoring mentor, his open mouth reeking of stale coffee.

Spotting some stray drool trickling down the Sannin's chin, Naruto hastily pulled the loose pages of his pervy excuse of a book out of harm's way, rolling his eyes skyward. _Pervy old coot oughta thank me…_

_Wait a second… _All traces of annoyance vanished from his face, to be replaced with the slyest grin he usually reserved only for the biggest pranks he'd pulled back in the Academy, as an idea popped into his head. Forming the familiar hand seal for his favourite transformation technique, Naruto changed into a curvaceous, stark naked, blond beauty, puffs of smoke billowing around his, that is, _her_ frame. The disruption caused Jiraiya to fidget slightly, muttering in his sleep.

"Jiraiyaaa… Rise and shine…" Jiraiya didn't so much as twitch his pinky. Okaaaay, time for Phase Two.

Naruto crawled closer to Jiraiya's ear and whispered, "Oh, Jiraiya, it's not nice to keep a girl waiting. Won't you wake up and keep me company today, O super hunky sensei?"

Jiraiya was awake and out of bed faster than he could say 'Ichiraku ramen'. "Oh yeaaaah, here I come, sweetheart. Don't fear, Jiraiya's here!" the Sannin loudly proclaimed to… _what?_

In the space where that incredibly cute girl had been was his punk of a student, hands behind his head and looking on at his mentor in disbelief. Son of a bitch, he'd fallen prey to the Sexy Jutsu. Again. Tsunade really ought to consider adding that to the list of forbidden techniques.

"Hurry up and drag those old bones out of bed already, you've still got a new jutsu to teach me!" Jiraiya ran a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. Barely awake for five minutes and already it was shaping up to be a loooong day.

* * *

Naruto huffed out a breath and watched the crowd milling about in the streets. Neon signs adorned the front of each store, each boasting sales and other attractive bargains, while hawkers touted their food, hands vigorously fanning with palm fans to keep them from burning.

The aroma was mouthwatering but Naruto really wasn't hungry. The pervy sage had promised him last week that he'd show him a new technique today, something about improving on the Rasengan. So much for that promise. Instead of something cool and exciting, he was stuck outside the publisher's office, waiting for Jiraiya and the irate looking chief to finish their negotiations. _Dammit, it was his birthday, for crying out loud. Trust his shishou to forget._

He made to run his fingers through his hair, a habit he had when he was feeling irritated, and his headband fell off. For crying out loud! That made the 77th time this week or something. He seriously needed to get a new cloth backing for this thing. Nothing short of his shinobi pride had kept him from ripping the damn thing off his head and chucking it into one of the many steam vents in this hot springs town. Somehow, his shishou always ended up getting 'lost' in these towns, leading them to wander around the bathhouses, where the white haired man would inevitably stumble into some poor unsuspecting women in the midst of their bath. Oh, all by 'accident', of course. Naruto rolled his eyes at the feeble excuse. How Jiraiya had become such an ace ninja was beyond him when his acting skills were so atrocious. One day, _he'd _surpass his master and become the greatest ninja ever! His shoulders slumped at the thought. Gee, how was he gonna do that when he couldn't even get a decent day of training in?

"What's this? Where'd all your energy go? You telling me you lost it already, kid?" Jiraiya placed a large hand on Naruto's shoulder, smiling. "Come on, we've got one more stop to make before we start your training, okay? Trust me, you're gonna love it."

* * *

It was… a clothing store. The biggest he'd seen in quite some time. There must have been hundreds of outfits in there. "Hey hey, pervy sage. What're we doin' here?"

"Isn't it obvious, you knucklehead?" Jiraiya looked on in amusement at the awe on the boy's face. He hadn't stepped into any shops for some time, so he could understand his fascination.

Naruto had no idea what he meant. "Don't call me that! How'm I supposed to know what we're doing here?" Naruto exclaimed. The old guy _never _went anywhere that required spending unnecessary money. The only time he splurged was on all those women he seemed to love hanging out with. Wait a second… "AHA! You brought me here to help you pick out new clothes so you can attract more of those women, didn't you! Well, you can forget it! There's no way I'm gonna waste my time on somethin' like that!"

"You impertinent little runt! First of all, I don't_ need_ help attracting women, I am Jiraiya the Toad Sage, ladykiller extraordinaire! And second, even if I _did _need advice, I certainly wouldn't take it from you!" the older man proclaimed loudly, eyeing Naruto's faithful trademark dresscode of ghastly orange. "We're here to get _you_ some new clothes so you can stop looking like something the cat dragged in!"

After a brief pause, Jiraiya's irate expression softened slightly. "Go on, kid. Pick something out. Today's trip will be on me." Naruto's slightly suspicious expression wasn't completely unwarranted. After all, how many times had he pulled a fast one on the bill, leaving his student to empty out the wallet he'd so affectionately named Gama-chan?

"Relax, Naruto. It's not everyday I get to see a young man turn 16, is it?" Jiraiya's smile turned fatherly. Naruto's azure eyes widened a little.

"Wha- you mean it? Oh man, you're th' best, old man! Hey, I hope you were serious 'cause I'm holding you to it, ya pervy sage!"

* * *

One and a half hours, 32 outfits, and much cajoling on the part of the shopkeeper (oh, that one would bring out the colour of your eyes, dear) later, Naruto spotted The Outfit. After much flailing around and excited shouting, Jiraiya managed to calm the boy down enough to see it; but when he did, he had to resist the urge to smack his head against the desk he was propping his elbows on. Hard. It was orange. Again. What weird fetish that boy had with orange Jiraiya would never know. But hey, it sure suited his personality. The jacket was orange, with black running down the shoulders and sleeves, and outlining its zipper. And the pants, the pants were pure carroty goodness…

Jiraiya shook his head, but at Naruto's pleading gaze, he relented. "Hey, when you find something that works," he shrugged noncommittally, before holding out a pair of black open-toed boots. "You might wanna try these on, Bigfoot."

Naruto squawked in self-conscious indignation as he looked down at his own feet. Sure, he'd outgrown his old shoes by a size or two, but he was _not_ appreciating being likened to a hairy 8-foot tall behemoth. Just look at the pervy sage! "Speak for yourself," Naruto mumbled.

The shoes were a perfect fit. Naruto slipped on his new clothes, looking at the old, tattered outfit that had seen him through so many training sessions. He'd first mastered the Rasengan in these! But he was casting his old self aside today. He wasn't just the Number One Hyperactive Knucklehead Ninja anymore. Today, he was Uzumaki Naruto, student of one of the legendary Sannin (even if he _was _a pervy old bag of bones), and soon-to-be Hokage! It made him sad to think of discarding his old clothes, but he'd outgrown them, and today he'd be stepping into the shoes of someone different – someone who was that much closer to getting Sasuke back. _Just wait, Sasuke. I'll bring you back, I promise._

Smiling a little at his reflection in the full-length mirror, he reached absently behind him for his hitai-ate, only to find the table empty. A brief moment of panic ensued, before a large hand was dangling a shiny, new looking headband on a strip of fresh black cloth. "Here you go. I figured if we're gonna give you a makeover, we ought to go the whole hog, don'tcha think?" Jiraiya remarked, smiling at his student.

Naruto looked completely speechless as he tied it securely on his forehead. No one had ever been so generous with him. Sure, Iruka-sensei used to treat him to ramen all the time, but this was different. He was about to open his mouth to deliver the thanks that had not even been worded in his head as of yet, but his shishou's hand came down on his hair, messing it up with one vigorous ruffle.

"Argh, cut it out!" Naruto protested, reaching up to extricate himself.

"Oh what, like that's going to make your hair any _more _ridiculous? A bird could build a nest in it and you probably wouldn't even notice!"

Naruto bit back a retort about his shishou's own ridiculously long white hair, because in truth, he really didn't mind. It seemed like something a father would do. Iruka-sensei used to do that too, but somehow, it was different when Jiraiya did it. Even though neither of them would admit it at the moment, Naruto could feel Jiraiya's almost paternal pride as he surveyed his student in the mirror, and that was something he'd never felt in his life.

Naruto smiled, running a hand through his hair to get rid of that annoying strand that couldn't seem to stay down no matter what he did.

"Come on, Naruto. We don't have all day, y'know. Don't you want to learn that new jutsu I was gonna show you? Knowing you, we'd better get started or we won't finish till next year!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'!" He spared his tattered outfit one last look, before running out into the warm sunlight to join the white-haired man.

It was only midday and he hadn't done very much yet, but he felt happier than he had in a while. A weight had lifted off his shoulders when he'd removed his battered old orange jacket and pants. He didn't have to do this alone. His shishou had singlehandedly eased the knot that had formed inside him, the knot from carrying far too many burdens for far too long. He had always known that one day, he would face Sasuke in battle again. But today, he knew he wouldn't be facing him alone. He fingered the rare blue crystal still at his neck. He would have his shishou's guidance, Granny Tsunade's faith in him; he would have Kakashi-sensei's help, and he would have Sakura-chan as backup. He wasn't alone anymore. And as much as he couldn't believe it, that warm feeling of belonging, of family, far surpassed the warmth he had always had to resort to finding at the bottom of a bowl of Ichiraku ramen. Or several bowls. And this, this was the best birthday he'd ever had in his life.


End file.
